The formerReal Housewives of Dallasstar — whoannounced on Tuesday that she is leaving the Bravo franchise after four seasons— is known to viewers for being open about the darker experiences in her life, embracing her own rocky history in an effort to show others how to exhibit strength through trauma.

“Where there’s tragedy, I’m immediately looking for the purpose,” Locken, 52, told PEOPLE in November 2018. “It’s a different way to live, but it’s what works for me at this stage in life.”

“It don’t need courage to talk about it,” Locken added. “That’s me being the raw, honest, open, no-filter LeeAnne that I was born. Where it took courage was surviving it. Trying not to let it destroy me. Making sure that I learned to thrive instead of just survive.”

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LeeAnne Locken

“I started working with my momat the age of 3, in the duck pond,” she told SiriusXM’s Jenny McCarthy ahead ofRHOD‘s first season premiere. “By the time I was 11, I bought my first [game] — we call them joints, stick joints — and I had adults working for me. So from 11 to 16, I had my first business.”

The carnival environment exposed Locken to things well beyond her years.

“I got beat up, I got mugged,” Locken said on McCarthy’s show. “It was pretty different. It was really different. … I had people who escaped from insane asylums, stalking me on the carnival. … It got creepy.”

Ever the optimist, Locken found the positive.

“I learned a lot of good things,” she said. “Number one, I’m really good with making money. I really learned how to make a living and I really learned how to assess people really quickly. Because if there’s not going to stay and play my game, dude, move on. I can’t sit and chat with you. My mom used to say, ‘If you can’t play, you can’t stay.’ ”

“I’ve also never done an illegal drug because I saw people jump from the top of the ferris wheel like, ‘I can fly,’ ” Locken said. “And I got my smart-ass sense of personality from there, too. People would be like ‘Hey’ and I’d be like, ‘Hay ain’t here, it’s in the barn next store. What do you want?’ ”

LeeAnne Locken.Paul Morigi/Getty

LeAnne Locken

Sadly, Locken’s life outside of the carnival brought its own challenges.

Dealing with that trauma led Locken to contend withher own issues of depression and suicide. She battled those demons while launching a career in show business — which, beforeRHOD, included modeling gigs, commercial appearances and a spot in the top 10 in the 1989 Miss USA Pageant, as well as a variety of hosting and acting gigs on television.

Locken even famously starred on the big screen alongside Sandra Bullock as one of the beauty pageant contestants (Kelly Beth Kelley, a.k.a. Miss Nebraska) in the 2000 comedyMiss Congeniality.

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Locken has long said she was misunderstood.

“I’ve been honest about my struggles,” she added.“They’ve said, ‘I use it for attention, I use it to manipulate people, I want people to pity me.’ None of that is true. Look, that is how I connect with humans. If I share an intimate story with you, it’s because I want you to understand at some core, deep level, that is who I am. I am not a surface. If we’re having a surface conversation, I’m going to bed, because you bore me.”

From the get-go on the show, Locken’s childhood pain appeared to manifest itself in her hot temper. One heated argument at a charity event ended with Locken knocking a cameraman out of the way (and a slapping a passing trolley car) before taking off barefoot down the street. Another verbal argument with Friend of the Housewives Marie Reyes had Locken’s threatening to “kill” the woman, something that led to worries from Locken’sRHODcast that she might be violent.

In season 2, Locken broke a glass during a fight with Deuber and was caught in a hot mic moment saying that she would hurt her (“They’re just hands, but they work quite well”). In fact, the season 2 reunion found most of the entire cast turning on Locken, with Hollman saying, “We cannot threaten each other’s lives.”

All that changed, though, in season 3. Using therapy and meditation, Locken came back more centered and tame. She was on cloud nine in her personal life, having just gotten engaged to longtime love Rich Emberlin. And she appeared much happier, channeling her energy into theL’Infinity Dress, a gown she designed that could be worn 175 different ways.

That didn’t mean there wasn’t drama to be had, of course. Locken and her former best friend D’Andra Simmons had a falling-out when Simmons spread rumors that Emberlin had been unfaithful (he denied the claims). The two Housewives almost got into a physical fight during a trip to Copenhagen. And despite being at peace up until that point, Locken and Redmond ended up getting into blows at the finale party.

Locken later apologized. “I know every bone in my body, and I knowI don’t have a single bone that believes in discrimination,” Locken said at theRHODseason 4 reunion. “I believe in inclusion.”

Since then, Locken and Brittingham have reconciled, and Locken looks back on herRHODride with affection.

“The last four years have been a trolley-slapping good time,” she said on Tuesday, while announcing her departure. “Thank you to everyone who has laughed and cried with me along the way. It’s been an amazing journey.”

LeeAnne Locken and Rich Emberlin.Peter Larsen/Bravo

WATERMARKED: LeeAnne Locken wedding

The twomarried in an extravagant and romantic weddinglast April, in a ceremony that aired duringRHOD‘s fourth season.

In her emotional vows, Locken thanked Emberlin for helping her through her past.

“When I was a child, I never really felt loved, wanted, or accepted,” Locken said. “When I met you, you made me feel all of those things. Together we have struggled, we have loved, we fought for each other. You’ve shown me how to love deeper than I ever knew was possible.”

“I promise to spend the rest of my life reminding you of how incredibly special you are,” Locken said. “I love you so much, and my heart belongs to you.”

Said Emberlin: “LeeAnne, you taught me what true love is: a total acceptance of someone, no matter how perfect or imperfect they may be. As you and I have always said, we come from the land of misfit toys, but we’ve managed to help fix each other up and will continue to do so for the rest of our lives.”

That sentiment carried over into Locken’s statement about herRHODdeparture.

“Getting to share my wedding with the viewers last year brought me tremendous joy, however, the season was very personally challenging for me,” Locken said. “I am looking forward to stepping away from the cameras and spending quality time with my husband and friends, traveling, but most importantly, getting back to philanthropy, which was my main reason for joining the show.”

source: people.com