Thanksgiving Day is almost here ! croak the turkey . skip the pie . Oh , ugh , and somebody bring me a USB cable television ! Being the family gearhead often mean you take on a new role as recreational tech support .
When you come home for the holidays , suddenly you ’re everyone ’s Bill Nye . You may find yourself fielding questions about everything from Facebook to QuickBooks . And do n’t plan on being able to Google your way out . Is that Bing in your parents ’ search bar ? And will your XBOX even work on dialup ?
Look , rather than curse the dark , ferment on the lights . And install an LED medulla oblongata or two while you ’re at it . Here ’s how to negotiate a technical school - challenged family ’s assembly .
Heal Thyself
Helping out your folks with their technical school problems is all well and good . But you wo n’t have the time or the DOE if you ’re constantly troubleshooting your own poppycock . You eff your folks , but everyone’ll end up better off if you go in looking out for number one .
What , you ’ve never been home before ? Most of your tech problems at your parent house are your own error . You know what you ’re potential to run into . Bring your own damn geartrain . And I ’m not just mouth your laptop . Of naturally you do n’t want to habituate that old XP machine limit up in the water closet under the stair . I ’m talking cable , power strips , Wi - Fi router . Are they on dialup ? possibly you ought to break up up a 4 thousand card at one of those fancy gadget vending machine in the aerodrome . Do n’t plan on being able-bodied to talk to your folks about this over the headphone . They ca n’t tell you what you do n’t have sex . Just roll like you ’re travel back in meter to the 1990s .
Fix Their Sh*t
Your mama went to a pot of damn trouble to cook that birdie . repay the favor , buttercup . expend some clock time working on your parent ’ technical school set up . Make certain their calculator computer software is up to escort . Uninstall IE6 and set them up with Chrome or Firefox or Safari . ( ripe peak : If your folk are visually driven , modify the Modern web internet browser picture to an Internet Explorer one . ) Set up automatic software program updates . Get them on Webmail . ( And for God ’s sake , if your parents share an e-mail address , do them each a favor and set up individual accounts . )
If you ’re really a good Thomas Kyd , you may even lend them new gearing . It does n’t even have to be marque new . betting odds are the old 802.11b router in your closet is dissipated than whatever the hell they ’ve get now .
Not only will improving their apparatus help them , it do good you in the farseeing run . It mean things will be that much good the next clock time you issue forth home , and keep down the likelihood of your having to field tech reenforcement calls about how to make the thing on the internet do that thing with the videos .
Answer Questions For Them (Not You)
Should your momma get an iPhone ? Should your papa corrupt a 3DTV ? Should they get a new computer ? Buy a Blu - ray player ? Invest in Groupon ? ( They should not invest in Groupon . ) Your parents have question , and of course you want to be helpful and answer them . Remember that the needs of a 65 year - old retiree in rural New Hampshire are quite dissimilar from those of a 20 - something production manager in Boston . For example , can they afford the monthly posting that go with a smartphone ? Does your pappa really need a Foursquare story ?
check that to debate future proofing ; your folks are in all probability less probable to advance than you are . So suggest stuff that hold out . And anything you do tell them to buy ? Be prepared to support it .
Educate Rather Than Advise
expect , you need to learn your mamma to fish . Sure , she might prefer you just show up with trout . But that ’s not aid anyone . Insist on giving them some rudiments on how to talk terms the tech landscape , just as they aid you learn to negotiate life-time — like how to ensure gadget will be compatible with their current equipment , how DRM form and what it means for future purchases , and to never , ever , ever take heed to the gross sales hombre at their local cell phone store .
Teach them world-wide principals that they can go for to future purchase and legal action . Show them how to do an effective Google hunting , and how to retrieve answers for themselves . They ’ll appreciate the education . And the time you save could be your own .
User Manualis Gizmodo ’s template to etiquette . It appears as if by illusion every Friday .
Original artwork byChristopher Hartelius . For more of Chris ’s work and other true word stories , please tick out his site , lawful American Dog .
you may keep up with Mat Honan , the author of this position , onTwitter , Facebook , orGoogle+ .
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