Every Android Phone, Ranked

There are something like one million Android phones for every person on the satellite decently now ( plus or minus one ) . Most of them suck . Many are keen . Here ’s the determinate list that tells you which is which .

Here are the ground rules . Every Android phone available on the websites of the big four US carrier will be ranked . phone that are only sold refurbished or certified pre - owned will not be rank . Sorry , Pantech Burst on AT&T , that think of you do n’t make the cut . Other notable phones will be added to the list as see fit ( hello Nexii ! ) . There will be no tie . This is America , where there is one success and then different level of losers .

The best Android earpiece you’re able to buy is also the most Android phone you’re able to buy , if that puddle any sense . It ’s everything neat about Android in one brawny rectangular optical prism . It ’s fast , it ’s enceinte , it ’s tinny , and it is n’t link up to toter . you may forget about all those manufacturer skins and bullshit immune carrier delays once you go link ; this telephone will always ( and only ) be what Google wants it to be . It ’s like move to a place with impossibly undecomposed weather . You ’ll forget about all the suffering of shoveling snow and the shattered dream of break off umbrellaswith a Nexus 5 .

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https://gizmodo.com/nexus-5-review-the-best-is-still-the-best-especially-1458003288

Everything about this phone is honest enough and that somehow adds up to pretty damn great . thing that do n’t look sound on theme — a slightly worse screen than the heavyweight , a rubberized balmy - touch plastic backing , etc.—somehow do n’t really subtract from the full experience . What ’s great is that it ’s perhaps the good compromise in having a big screen and having a phone that normal humans can hold . Plus , the added software system touchesare amazingly goodhere .

https://gizmodo.com/moto-x-review-the-android-phone-for-everybody-1034784286

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It ’s either the well - looking phone on the satellite or tie for that deed , depending on when the last time you got your eyes checked . And though it ’s running up in age a small bit now ( six calendar month is a lifespan for Android earpiece ) , the camera in the HTC One is still first class . fundamentally , it ’s a supermodel that accept better motion-picture show than the lensman taking motion picture of her . When youhave the HTC One , you will never suffer from phone invidia because you know you ’re always drop dead home with the best looking thing on the major planet .

https://gizmodo.com/htc-one-review-the-beauty-is-a-beast-updated-5990716

The Second Tier

By most metrics — and geek creepin ’ eyeball at bars — it ’s the most pop Android headphone in the world . It really should n’t be . Buying an S4 is effectively declare that you do n’t handle about how things await and just bought whatever the guy in the collared shirt at the store told you to buy . But I deal about how things work , you say . I care about personality , you say . Nah . You only say you care because you spent money on this piece of charge card . If you spent it on another man of plastic , you ’d be tootin ’ that one . Here ’s the bargain : theS4 has the loud look and feelof any top flight telephone . The next one require to be good for sheep ’s saki .

https://gizmodo.com/samsung-galaxy-s4-review-better-but-not-best-updated-5995291

Your reason : A big piece of ass assault and battery . And that ’s crucial becauseour sucktitude in developing bombardment is fail to bewhy we lose an foreign space war . buy aDroid Maxxmeans you care about the hereafter of manhood . The money you pay for this phone is actually a toast of support towards the future defense of Earth . Also you may go two days without charge , which is middling not bad .

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https://gizmodo.com/droid-maxx-review-a-battery-beast-for-major-bucks-1326962194

Your reason : a big ass screen . If you ’re into comically self-aggrandizing things like Big Gulps , Starbuck Trentas , Super Sizes , Hummers , Shaq , feeding competitions and so onward , this is your headphone soulmate . Is there some mathematically perfect screen sizing for normal human hand ? believably ! But I reckon magnanimous ass phone owner do n’t give a damn as they laugh at your puny ass on their room to grill steaks in Texas .

https://gizmodo.com/samsung-galaxy-note-3-review-biggerer-and-betterer-1432786715

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The Third Tier

Waterproof is always coolheaded but especially cool when it does n’t scream raincoat with a yellow rubber safety vest and yellow rubber ducky strapped to its body . TheSony Xperia Z looks like what a phone looks like in 2013and happens to be able to swim . That ’s safe and woefully , too rarefied .

https://gizmodo.com/sony-xperia-z-review-the-manic-pixie-dream-girl-of-pho-730108258

It ’s a screamer of a phone in that it ’s ridiculously powerful but alsoprone to making you screamwhen you use it . But if you like gardening , you ’ll like this headphone . And if you care hurting yourself , you ’ll like this phone . Still , with the spec it load down , it ’s hard to rank it any lower .

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https://gizmodo.com/lg-g2-review-a-braindead-hercules-1349343131

A phone that is somewhat worse than the HTC One is actually slightly better than most everything else . It ’s just a good look sound , man .

Phones You Should Probably Not Buy Unless You’re a Fish

You ’ve figured us out : we basically blindly affirm anything waterproof because it ’s a damn ignominy that water can still destroy your phone in 2013 .

Phones You Should Probably Not Buy Unless You’re a Giant

Just kidding , perchance there is a limit to how big phones should be .

Phones You Should Probably Not Buy Unless You’re Goldilocks

A smaller , chintzier version of an already bland phone .

Phones You Should Probably Not Buy Because They’re Old

If you ’re using these phones , you ’re still probably under a contract . That ’s ok . They ’re still perfectly serviceable now and better than everything below but that does n’t mean you should buy them anymore . savor the memories .

Phones You Should Probably Not Buy Unless It’ll Save a Life

We ’ve just cleared the do n’t want to be zone .

Phones That Are Meant to Be Taken As a Joke

One of these phones is meant for Facebook - ing , unlike other better phones which can also Facebook . One of these phone has a UI intend for smartphone newbs . One of these phones has two back panels . One of these phones is really a photographic camera . One of these phones has a style you will lose . And one of these phone I all made up to see if you were still pay tending .

It’s Probably Time To Change Phones

It ’s kind of like when you see an old actor pop up on TV and get surprised that he ’s not stagnant yet . A crappy flavor for a former outstanding but … sorry , it ’s the truth .

Survivable ‘Budget’ Phones

Whoever owns these telephone set must always be fooled whenever the McRib “ is back . ”

Phones That Exist For People Who Are Outdoors (But Not Homeless)

For an indoorsman like me , I can prize these broken earpiece . They ’re nerveless like how Toughbooks are cool , but that does n’t entail you ’d want to use them on a steady footing .

Unsurvivable Budget Phones (Phones for Homeless People)

I think you ’d be more at peacefulness with your life if you had a snotty-nosed phone . Or no phone .

Phones That Exist Because People Miss Their Blackberries

Some of these are the successors to the original Droid that spawned Android . Most of them are just bastard grandson that shamed the family name . All of them have keyboards for masses who like thumb callouses .