Andy Cohen“always knew [he] wanted a family,” but he admits that he wasn’t sure becoming a father would ever become a reality for him.

“When I came out to my parents in 1988, my mom said she had to mourn the life that I wasn’t going to be able to have. And that life meant getting married and having kids,” recounts Cohen, 50.

“[At that time] people were dying of AIDS; [that’s] what was happening in the gay community. So all theseyears later, gay men are raising familiesand getting married. There were points where I thought that it was too late for me or that I was really focused on my career, and I was having too much fun to think about it. It was still there nagging at me in the back of my head.”

Mei Tao

andy-cohen-benny

“Turning 50 also played a big part,” Cohen continues. “I just realized that now was the time. From the time I decided, ‘Okay, I’m doing this,’ which was December 2017, for the entire year of 2018 I lived my life as though it was my last year on the planet.”

“I went to London twice. I followedthe [Grateful] Deadon tour. I went to Israel for the first time. I went to Europe for three weeks. I took advantage of every opportunity, and it was a joyous, joyous year,” he raves.

“I knew that I was turning a page on that chapter in my life. It’s not to saythat I can’t go to a party anymore, but things are changing.”

02_25_19_NOUPC

“First day of school, bar mitzvah, just tucking him in, being on the beach with him,” the Bravo star tells Cagle of what he’s looking forward to most. “I’m in a place in my life where I have a pretty generous schedule and where I can afford topick up and go somewhere for the weekend.”

“I’m excited to go on adventures with him and show him the world,” Cohen shares. “I want to see him running around a big green yard. I want to teach him to swim.”

For Cohen’s life as a new dad, pick up the latest issue ofPEOPLE, on newsstands Friday.

source: people.com