How the heck is it October 31st already ? It does n’t really weigh why you do n’t have a costume . perhaps Hurricane Sandy got in the way , or possibly you ’re just a lazy permissive waste of humanity in sunny California . The point is that you ’ve got to put something together and tight . So get ready to lower your touchstone and put the stuff you ’ve got lying around the mansion to work . Here ’s our second yearly template to getting all costumed up with zero preparation .
Episode VII Merchandise Mockup
It ’s anyone ’s undecomposed guess what Disney has plannedfor the next Star Wars motion picture , but that has n’t intercept the net from job about what a Mickey meets Darth Vader mashup might look like . Now it ’s your turn . Thanks to the intimately interminable merchandising of both Disney characters and Star Wars motion picture , there ’s a 99.9 - percent probability you own at least one novelty item from each imperium . Simply match an article from tower A to an article from column B. Maybe it ’s Mickey ears and a lightsaber . Maybe it ’s a Cinderella Tierra ™ and a Wookie hoodie . It does n’t weigh . insistent meme .
The Forsaken Executive ’s Mad scientific discipline
It ’s a blessing to all things tasteful that Scott Forstallwas just kick out from Apple , but his gimcrack design choices can now become the basis for your costume . Just endure something - anything - repulsive from your closet . The more beleaguered the style and the more skeuomorphic the design , the good . When somebody asks , just say you ’re an core iOS app that failed to meet Tim Cook ’s standards . That jerk . You ’ll get that Tim Cook for inhume your whizz .
The Unmasked Troll
ViolentAcrez and ComfortablySmug got the unmasking they deserved after anonymously trolling the Internet . Now you could reprise this unmask over and over and over . Just use a bandanna or a t - shirt to cover a part of your face on which you ’ve scribble the Bible “ asshole ” in sorcerous marker . When people demand what you are , rip off the mask . So . Satisfying .
Night of the Living Useless Gadget
Tonight , from the astuteness of your debris drawer , an ancient menace will emerge : Your Blackberry from 2007 . see all the frightful honest-to-goodness convenience that ghost your retentiveness and endeavor to come to them by using canal tape to bind them to your body in uncanny places . Oh what that transitional smartphone does n’t make birdsong anymore ? Was it ever even good at that ? Oh you mean that novelty compounding lighter / bottleful opener is n’t any good at get fervency or initiative bottles ? Impossible ! You ’ll be force to take up clobber from others all night long . follow as they run for the hills .
Bonus points for calling your carrier and activating your ancient phone . two-fold incentive point for sharp Image crap .
Instant Paul Ryan
Politics is the art of simple message . That ’s what Paul Ryan ’s red hat was supposed to be in the infamous photo shoot from last year . unluckily , the content was lost in translation . Instead of , “ Republican and unassuming , ” it reads “ moron man - son . ” Either way , it ’s Paul Ryan ’s lid now . And when you put on a little scarlet chapeau , you too magically assume Ryan ’s clownlike qualities .
The IRL Deal With It GIF
You ’re screwed . Just grab your Ray - Bans , and go out with your kid or to a party with friends as planned . assure people you did n’t get dressed up this year . When they start to snivel about the spirit of Halloween , cut them off with a glare and throw down your shades . Deal with it .
Halloween
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